Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
