Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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