People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
