I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
