it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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