I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
