no, he came in my armpit
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
That accounts for only three of the penises
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
