I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
