when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize