The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
