well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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