Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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