your room smells of hookers.
And success
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
