please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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