Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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