I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
