i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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