I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
