Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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