she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize