shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
