Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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