if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize