We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
