i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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