Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
