My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
