grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
