ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
