Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
