i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
