Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
