My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
a search helicopter?!
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
