Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
