We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
