We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
