we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
