I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
