Your dad touched me again.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
