It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
