dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
