eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
