tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
