Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
