You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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