if you like me you must not know who I am
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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