is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
