Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I am mentally ready for anal.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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