I'm gonna have a badass scar
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize