Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
