i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
why do cheetos always look like penises
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
