well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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