I cockslap morals
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
