the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
