Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
