What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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