So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
