Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
