hotel room ftw
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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