morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
