dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
