yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
