he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
